Active Imaginations

Me == normal text
Twitch == blue text


psst
*motions towards dark corner*
*nods*
*points to ear, indicating there are people listening*
*nods in understanding*
*writes on paper*
"hi"
*bursts out laughing*
*pulls gun and curses*
LOL
*motions you to keep down*
AHAHAHAH
!!
*grabs you by the legs and wheelbarrows you to a car*
LMFAO
*drives car onto a yacht*
whew
that was close
i thought we were gonna be late for this party
I'm sorry I exposed our position, with the laughter
well, we're lucky this time...it seems their "bugs" weren't working....
indeed

Dwayne Loves His Puns

Me: asdfjkl; is what i would say if i was a keyboard.

Dwayne: homerow erotic.

Bathroom Break

Clint is a skinny guy, however his deuce's are massive and sudden...

Clint: The Oilers were down by 1 with 5 seconds left in the 3rd.......The Oilers defense iced the puck at the Phoenix goalie....instead of letting it go the Phoenix goalie held on to it for a whistle..........then......
HOLY.
I'm gonna call you back, you do NOT wanna hear the noises in the next 2-45 minutes!!!

Random things from Reegan

Me == normal text
Reegan == green text

Part 1
Perogies and snow, my friend. Perogies and snow.
Could you imagine if they could make perogies out of cheese and vodka, and they tasted JUST like regular perogies.
"Man, that guy really loves his perogies."
Yeah, and he's a regular guy, too. He doesn't even drink. It's weird that he's so addicted to those things."
Just don't eat them near an open flame.

would they be safe to cook?

Yeah dude, you just boil them in the water.
I see them looking at me.

so they get you drunk while tasting awesome!

Exactly.
Dude, how awesome....?

how do perogies look at you?

Like they wished they were made of vodka.
And they want to be boiled and ingested.



Part 2
I'm gonna start consuming vast amounts of burger king and beer every day.
So that if I ever get abducted by aliens, when they try to probe me, I'll diarrhea all over them.
that's some good planning ahead
Three meals a day.


Part 3
Are you a scorpio?
no, i'm an engineering physicist
Oh fuck.
Did I ever have you pegged wrong.
I'm embarassed.
what's with scorpio's, can they do magic or something?
No, they sound like scorpion's.

Sliiiiide

Reegan shows me a picture of him and a girl.

Reegan: That's Britt and a very drunk Reegan.
Oh wait, this isn't the really drunk picture.
I'm getting grinded on.
Yeah YEAH.

Me: HAHA. *nods in approval*
you should take her to the bathroom so she can take off her underwear.

Reegan: She wasn't wearing any to begin with.
Just sliiiiiiiiiiiiiiide.
OR some cheese.

Me: ???

Reegan: Oops, wrong window.

More Reegan...

Reegan: I think brocolli is an urban legend.
Me: like, the ones where you lose a kidney... or the ones where it is an illegal sex society?
Reegan: Definitely. Those, for sure.
"I'm gonna fornicate you with an iron broccoli"

Awkward

After showing Reegan the solutions to the thermo assignment.

Reegan: Fuck is this gonna save me time. I'm pretty excited right now..
Sexually.
But not really.
Me: ...
Reegan: I'm glad i wore these pants.
Me: that was awkward...
Reegan: Hello, Daniel. Top of the morning.
Me:... i'm going to..uh... go buy a new alarm clock now... kthxbye.
Reegan: LOL. That killed me.
Me: twice?
Reegan: First with a knife, then threw me off a balcony.

Sleeping in

I wake up to the sound of my phone announcing an incoming text message.

Twitch: Class is almost over, where are you?

Me: Hi, buying a new alarm clock. kthxbye.

Silent Conversation

Me == normal text
Twitch == blue text

*nods*
*nods back*
*double nod*
*obscene hand gestures*
*goes to the bathroom and takes off underwear*
*punch to the mind*
*confused look*
*stare*
*wink*
*blink*
*cartwheel*
*taps heels*
*opens parachute*
*cuts your parachute*
*glad to be on the ground already*
*napalms you*
*chuckles at poor aim*
*it's napalm*
*laughs at insanely horrible aim*
*kills you*
*...*
this is where you say: *dies*
*where did you get napalm?*
* gestures towards the dollar store*
*eats blueberry waffle out of spite*
*kills blueberries*
*and waffles*
*throws whipped cream at your head*
*loves whipped cream*
oh god I want some waffles now
*nods*
*eats waffle*
psh
*enjoys waffle*
*sad there is no blueberry*
*scoff*
*offers thanks for the great idea about eating waffles*

Silence #2

Dwayne: I grabbed the letters "F" and "U" off the fridge and walked into the living room. I then tossed the letters onto the couch, where Craig was sitting, and I walked away without saying a word.

Silence

Reegan: I went to hand my assignment in to Koustov.
He was walking down the stairs as I was walking up, so I asked him if it was too late to hand in assignment.
He just looked at me, took my assignment, and walked back up to his office without saying a word.
I'm not sure if he hates me, or if he's just Russian.